Cultural warfare

There are an elite few of us who remember the movie Can't Buy Me Love, which I think at this point might only be aired on Comedy Central as part of a block of campy movies between 8am and 2pm on Sundays...if at all. This is a retelling of the classic fable about a nerdy lawnmower (...lawnmower operator; this isn't John Hughes' The Brave Little Toaster) who spends the money he has saved for a telescope to replace a ruined dress for the most popular girl in school. In return, she promises to make him cool. Against ALL ODDS: he becomes cool, she begins to fall for him, he gets an inflated ego, she expresses her disgust (thereby revealing her true feelings), he learns the lesson we learned an hour ago, and they ride off into the sunset on his lawnmower arguing over who has to wear the cowboy hat (see above).

Here's why I mention it: the black media has launched a diabolical scheme. After watching us white people continually coopting their culture, they are now fighting back with a twisted caricature of these social crimes. Black people are remaking Can't Buy Me Love. Based on the original screenplay. For real. It's called Love Don't Co$t a Thing, and it stars Smooooove Steve Harvey, among other black people. As you can see, they've replaced the white people with black people and the cowboy hat with an afro. And as it involves Steve Harvey, I'm relieved to report that its moral heart will remain intact, save for an unfathomable increase in saccharinity.